Calling for Volunteers for Pant Gestapo

I have recently become a fan of JCrew. I bought a pair of their slim fit chinos, which I like a good bit. I also really enjoy their dress shirts. It is, therefore, with a heavy heart that I report some tragic news on the pants front.

While browsing the JCrew catologue online, I came across two trousers that are absolutely unacceptable. They are so awful that I am considering burning every piece of clothing from JCrew that I own in protest.

Here, as is so often the case, the fit is not the problem. The problem, obviously, is the atrocious pattens. The one on the top is filled with these little "coat of arms" designs. The one on the bottom is called paisley. I just shivered as I wrote "paisley." Oh, I just shivered again.

Anyway, this is horribly sad. I can only hope that this is a weird phenomenon and other clothing companies will not follow suit. If these styles become popular I may have to organize a secret pants police. Any volunteers?